


Online Dating

by Providence26



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-30
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2019-03-11 12:06:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13523916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Providence26/pseuds/Providence26
Summary: ~~~~~ indicates character perspective change or a time lapse.A/N – Fin calls Olivia Baby Girl because I have read him do that in so many fics that I can no longer remember whether it is Canon or Fanon.





	Online Dating

Alex Cabot only ever asked questions that she already knew the answer to. It was a lawyer trait, ingrained into them from the first day of law school. So when she approached her computer whizz college friend she knew he would say yes to helping her. When she approached Odafin Tutuola to help her with the second phase of her plan, she knew he would say yes also. She had decided on Fin because she knew he had seen the way she looked at Olivia, and his nod of acceptance and occasional remark let her know that he approved. Getting Liv to approach her was another thing entirely. Alex had made overtures in the past, invited Olivia to dinner, art galleries, the opera. All very subtle. None of these invitations seemed to clue Olivia in to her intentions, she always asked about the men in Alex’s life. Damn that dinner with Trevor. It had seemed to cement Alex as heterosexual and off limits in Olivia’s mind, no matter what Alex tried to do to change that perception. And then Witsec happened, her good man in Wisconsin, followed by her engagement and an indiscretion with Jim Steele.

She had put all manner of obstacles in the way of her own heart, but she was ready now, she had what she hoped was a fool proof plan to court Olivia, two partners in crime to assist her. She just hoped it wasn’t foolhardy rather than foolproof.

~~~~~~

Unusually, it was just Fin and Liv left at the bar, one of Elliott’s kids had a parent’s night and Munch had a date. They weren’t drunk, but had definitely had enough to be chatty without inhibitions. There was a deep respect between the two.

“So when are you going to get back in the saddle, Baby Girl?”

“I don’t know, it has been a while though.”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying. You need to get yourself a little something something. Doesn’t have to be forever. Just casual, you know?”

“And where exactly do you suggest I find these people? I’m getting a little old for the bar scene.”

“It’s all online nowadays, you got to get yourself a profile.”

“That’s your brilliant suggestion? After all the cases we’ve seen with online stalking?”

“I know the name of a site, one of the FDNY girls was telling me that’s how she met her girl, it’s for people in the services.”

“You mean uniform wearers and the people that fetishize us?”

This wasn’t going to be as easy as he had hoped, but he had the feeling that the length of her dry spell was making this easier than it would otherwise have been.

“Aw, come on Baby Girl, don’t be like that. I’m just looking out for you. Let’s go back to yours, pick up a pie on the way and we can set you up a profile. I have a code for free registration.”

Olivia looked at him with a sceptical expression, but agreed. At worst she would get some pizza out of it.

Two hours, several cups of coffee and a pizza later they were both completely sober. Enough so that they could finally take her picture, they agreed that it would be in her best interest not to look like a lush.

“I’m really not sure about this Fin.”

“Trust me sweetcheeks. In no time at all you’ll have a dozen messages from women all wanting a piece of you.”

“I guess. Okay then.”

“Okay? You’re going to let me press submit?”

“Do it. Before I change my mind.” She immediately covered her face with her hands and collapsed backwards on the sofa. What had she let herself in for?

~~~~~~

Alex Cabot had been on tenterhooks all evening, a text from Fin had alerted her that his part of her plan was in progress, her impatience was making her frustrated and slightly nauseated. She was waiting for the alert on her computer to let her know that Liv’s profile was live. Her friend had set up the dummy dating website so that only people with a certain code can join. SO whilst others may stumble upon the website, and it would appear genuine, only Olivia Benson with the code given to Fin could actually join Alex as the only actual members.

She hoped that this worked, the tiny voice in her head that kept telling her that this was a bad idea refused to be silenced, but the idea of going to see Olivia and being rebuffed was too much to bear.

The notification signal finally sounded on her laptop and she rushed over to check out Olivia’s profile. They had up loaded a picture, Liv’s hair was longer, making her seem much more feminine than the last time they were face to face.

This was one of the few variables in her plan. As much as she knew about Olivia, she couldn’t predict what she was going to enter in her profile and what she was looking for. She sent an IM to her username NY4015.

_Hi, I saw your profile on NYProDating. You seem nice, relatively normal for a dating site – want to chat?_

~~~~~

“Liv! Liv,” Fin practically shouted at the woman still groaning in almost physical pain at the potential humiliation of anyone finding out that she had joined a dating site.

“What?” She managed to groan out.

“We’ve got a live one here. A message. Read it. Answer it.”

“Oh God, What do I do? This is too soon. What do I say?”

“Just read it and respond using your natural charm.”

They looked at each other before Fin added, “Let me proof read it before you hit send.”

“Right.”

“You can do this Baby Girl.”

They both read the message and sat in silence. Olivia’s mind was a complete blank.

“Well she seems ok. Type a reply.”

~~~~~~~

What the hell was taking her so long to reply? It had been at least seven minutes. Come on Detective, grow some ovaries and reply.

Just as Alex was about to check her wifi connection to make sure it was still working, she received the desired reply:

**Hi, I hope I am relatively normal. I am a newbie on here and to online dating so please be gentle with me.**

Oh Detective, you have no idea how gentle I can be for you.

_No worries, we will go as slow and gentle as you need to. Can I ask some questions or would you prefer to ask some of me?_

Oh God, was that too suggestive?

**We can do quid pro quo? Are you on the force – or one of the services?**

_No, I’m a lawyer._

**Defense???**

Oh Liv sweetheart, some things about you never change.

_No – definitely not. I would rather wait tables than be a defense attorney. I’m a prosecutor. What about you? Which service are you on?_

Even though she already knew, she needed to play dumb, draw this out and build a foundation.

**NYPD, I’m a detective. Maybe we’ve worked together. I won’t ask what borough or division. I am not ready to say which precinct I work at yet.**

_It’s okay, I understand, there are some real weirdos out there, I should know, I have prosecuted far too many of them._

**And I’ve arrested my fair share. Sounds like we would make a great team.**

She could almost sense Olivia relaxing into their exchange.

Alex decided to ask the next question.

_I just want to check, you are single right? I just ask because it seems so many online daters are looking for extramarital or threesomes (I’m not looking for either of those)._

**Definitely single. For a little too long now. My hours make it hard to sustain anything with civilians. Mostly I just get to meet victims, perps and defense lawyers, not a great pool of people to pick from. So what do you like to do for fun?**

_As you can imagine, I don’t get a lot of free time, but I love reading, watching movies, theatre, art galleries and museums, picnics. I run too, but for exercise not for fun. I adore eating (hence the running), and I am going to tell you a secret, but if you tell anyone I will deny it, I go to petstores to see the animals and cuddle the rabbits because my building doesn’t allow pets. How about you?_

Alex was loving this, it was the longest conversation they had engaged in since her return from the DRC. Her attempts to converse with Liv had been repeatedly cut short by the detective and Alex was at a loss over how to regain their friendship, much less progress it. She knew she had hurt Liv deeply, she could see it in her eyes on the rare occasions their eyes met.

**I like rock climbing, I love reading too, my mother was an English professor, so that was inevitable really. I like to walk in Central Park. I used to go to the theatre because I love watching the ballet, but with my hours I get called away a lot. It’s not as much fun to go by yourself.**

_Don’t you have anyone who would go with you?_

**Most of my friends are macho cops, they don’t want to be spending time escorting me to the opera. I used to have a friend that enjoyed it and we went together, but that was years ago.**

_What happened to her/him?_

Alex held her breath, she could almost hear the internal debate Olivia was having.

**She died.**

Well, it was partially true, she guessed. Liv just neglected to mention her resurrection and their subsequent estrangement. All her own doing of course, she could hardly blame Liv for her own cowardice, failed engagement and infidelity. She had a feeling that Liv knew about both of these and that it was a major contributor in the distance. She couldn’t help herself, she had to ask,

_Do you miss her?_

Alex was unsure what to make of the lengthy pause before Liv replied.

**That’s a heavy question for a first conversation, shouldn’t we choose a lighter topic such as abortion or euthanasia perhaps?**

Alex grinned to herself, nicely sidestepped my dear detective, her heart warmed at the avoidance, if Liv no longer cared it was easy enough just to say no.

_You really want to start a conversation with a prosecutor about those topics? I should warn you, my arguments are finely honed._

**I surrender already, I have to work tomorrow. It was nice speaking to you.**

No, no, no, this isn’t ending already.

_But the night is still young Detective._

**Sorry, but I really do have to go.**

_Can we talk again?_

**Sure, if we’re ever online again at the same time. Why not?**

She could actually feel Liv retreat, the barriers being put back in place. She had pushed too hard.

Damn it. She had come so close. She would wait a couple of days, if she heard nothing in that time she would get Fin to give Olivia a nudge towards contacting her.

_Well, I really enjoyed speaking to you, sleep well._

NY4015 has logged off

Fuck.

~~~~~~~

It had been a torturous few days waiting for NY4015 to get back in contact, but Alex Cabot knew how to wait. She had spent years waiting for her chance with Olivia Benson. The downside was that all this waiting gave her plenty of time to replay the past, the hero worship she had for the tough but gentle soul that was Olivia Benson. The growing attraction that she was barely aware of until much later. The devastation she felt when she was caught consorting with the enemy, the betrayal in Olivia’s eyes was an image that often came back to haunt her, the relief she felt when forgiveness was finally extended, the haunted look in Liv’s eyes when she thought Alex was dying. The despair and hurt when she saw Alex was alive but leaving. Lonely nights in Wisconsin just longing to hear her voice again. The moment she mentioned her good man in Wisconsin was the moment that she truly realized that she was in love with Olivia, and that the mention of the good man was the final nail in the coffin of her chances with her.

Her engagement had been a direct result of her inability to chance a look in Liv’s eyes, she couldn’t risk the possibility of there not being that familiar and much needed warmth and love. Alex Cabot was always unable to make just one bad decision, she had always been the type to make several in succession, thus Jim Steele, Nikki Sherman, Nardalee and her departure to the DRC.

Olivia finding out about the latter from a witness was possibly the lowest point.

The look in her eyes, oh God, the look she gave Alex. She knew that this time her mistake had been unforgivable. The hurt and betrayal in Liv’s eyes was a memory that caused Alex actual, physical pain in her chest when she remembered it. A pain that seemed to expand creating a void in her the longer she was away from Olivia. She knew that she didn’t deserve to be given another chance to pursue Olivia. But the idea of living the rest of her life without her was completely unacceptable. She had to try.

It was time to text Fin.

_Olivia hasn’t been back online. Did something happen? Can you prompt her?_

**I’ll do my best, but you know what Baby Girl is like. We just pulled 40 hours straight, she’s in the crib, be patient.**

One more day she would give her before she sent a message.

~~~~~~~

She had been plagued by the phantom sound of the message alert, so much so that she didn’t believe that she had heard it when it actually sounded.

**Hey, you there?**

Oh God, she made contact, play it cool, Cabot.

She counted to ten and then started typing.

_Hi, nice to hear from you._

That was good, not too needy.

**That’s good to know. I would have messaged before but we caught a case.**

_That’s okay, I know how these things are, I’ve forgotten my best friend’s birthday in the middle of a trial before._

**I feel like I should apologize. I logged off so abruptly.**

_It’s fine, really. I understand that it is overwhelming at first. Talking to a stranger. Figuring out what can and can’t be revealed. We can do this as slowly as you need to._

**Thank you, that means a lot. So I know you like books and movies, but what kinds?**

_I don’t know that we have enough time for this conversation, there are so many, I can talk about books for hours. Some of them mean so much to me they are almost like friends._

**I’ve got time. Tell me.**

~~~~~~

Olivia had only managed a couple of hours sleep, but she felt refreshed in a way she hadn’t in a long time. She and her internet friend (who went by the handle Justice) had spent three hours messaging each other. Justice had indeed been able to talk for hours about books. She felt like they were forging a real connection. She didn’t want to talk to Fin about it yet, though he had asked a few pointed questions. It felt too precious and fragile. Yet Olivia was wary, there was still the possibility that Justice could turn out to be some kind of weirdo. Experience at work had shown that more than a few perverts lurked online. For the first time in a long time she found herself wanting to give someone a chance.

“Hey Baby Girl, good night last night?”

“Yeah.”

“What’d you do?”

“Nothing much, chilled out, spent sometime online.”

“Oh? Uhhmm, really? Talking to anyone I know?”

She liked Fin, he was subtle and he kept people’s confidences, she trusted him in ways she never had with Elliott, even though they had been as close as siblings.

“I talked to that woman online again. She seems nice.”

“Aww, look at you, all loved up.”

“Oh no. Stop that. It’s too soon for that, at this rate you will have us married off by the end of the month.”

“Isn’t that how you lesbians roll?”

“Not this one. I’m not ready to do anything serious about it. It’s just nice to chat to someone. We probably won’t even meet up.”

She watched a brief look pass over Fin’s face, but couldn’t quite place it. Possibly concern, but mixed with something else.

“Don’t count her out yet Liv, loads of people meet great people online nowadays, give her a chance. This could be everything you have ever wanted. Don’t walk away.”

She nodded, but didn’t reply.

~~~~~~~

Alex was starting to wonder if this course of action was the best way. She had wanted something subtle, that she could build on, but she hadn’t expected Liv to need to go quite so slowly. It was becoming frustrating, spending every free moment waiting by her laptop for Olivia to appear. She should have just gone to her. Faced her. Dealt with the inevitable hurt that would be visible in her eyes, soothed it away with a caress.

Time to bite the bullet Cabot, your turn to message Liv.

_Hey, I can see you’re not online, but just wanted to say hi and how much I have enjoyed our chats so far. Message me when you can. X_

There, at least she can see the effort isn’t all one sided.

She knew from her friend that created the website that apart from creating a profile and answering Justice’s IMs that Olivia hadn’t looked at any other profiles on the site, which was just as well as they were all fakes, created to give the illusion of a functioning site. Still, Alex was glad that Olivia seemed content with their chats.

~~~~~~~

It had been another long case with little time to sleep. It was an unspoken agreement that they would forgo personal time to prevent future victims. This case involved children, several of them. This meant everything else became secondary to them. At this point the squad hated the sight of each other, but when it came to children they just ploughed through, letting personal animosities go. None of them wanted to be the cause of letting a child rapist go free because they failed to shrug off a comment.

It had taken four brutally long days, what Olivia Benson really needed was sleep. What she wanted however was to go online and talk to Justice.

There was something between them, she couldn’t define or explain it, but she felt it. The connection was rapidly becoming necessary for her. For the last four days she had been waiting for a chance to talk.

When she logged on she saw there was a message waiting for her, feeling a warmth that the other woman had been thinking of her, she quickly responded.

~~~~~~~

**Hi, thanks so much for your message. Sorry for not replying sooner, been on another long case.**

Within a couple of minutes of sending the message her chat screen popped up.

_Hey NY4015, good to see you are still alive and kicking, I was getting worried._

**I’m fine, tired, but fine.**

_I guess you should really be asleep right now._

**Probaby, but I need to wind down first.**

_Have you eaten?_

**Not yet. Just got home a few minutes ago.**

_And you responded to me before anything else? I’m flattered. Order yourself something, we can chat whilst you are waiting for it._

**Fine, Miss Bossypants.**

_You have no idea. Go order it. I’ll wait. Don’t argue with a lawyer._

**I can hold my own when arguing with lawyers, thank you very much.**

_Yeah, I remember. You always were argumentative._

**Excuse me?**

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

_That was a figure of speech._

Long moments of nothing tortured Alex, she was castigating herself for her carelessness. Everything had been going so well.

**You know me. You know who I am. Don’t you?**

What to say, lie and lose her when the truth comes out, tell the truth and suffer even further banishment from Olivia’s life.

_Liv, please let me explain first._

More moments of non-responsiveness passed.

**Go on.**

_I miss you. I’ve loved you for years, but when it comes to you I always mess up. I didn’t know how to approach you, to tell you. You thought I was straight and I keep leaving and I can never seem to find the right words to make you forgive me._

**Alex? This is Alex?**

_Yes._

**Fin knows about this, doesn’t he? He is helping you.**

_Please don’t be mad at him, he knows how I feel about you, he always has. I had to beg him, to convince him I wouldn’t hurt you._

No response.

_I promise Liv, if you just give me a chance I will show you exactly how much you mean to me. I just want a chance._

**So you think lying to me about who you are is the best way?**

_I couldn’t think of another way. You avoid me, and I deserve that. I know the catalogue of my mistakes with you. I wish I had never said yes to Trevor (or Robert or Jim). I wish I had listened to you over the Velez case. If I had, maybe we would be married with kids by now._

**Don’t. Don’t say things like that.**

**I have to go.**

NY4015 has logged off.

Fuck.

She’d really blown it this time.

~~~~~~~~~

Before she knew what she was doing she was outside Fin’s apartment, pounding on his door.

“What the fuck, Baby Girl?” A sleepy and confused Fin wrenched open the door.

“How could you?”

She watched his face, he knew exactly what she meant.

“She told you?”

“Not purposely, I figured it out.”

“What happened?”

Olivia deflated at the concern in his eyes and voice, she explained the entire sequence of events to Fin, she felt humiliated, and betrayed. “Why would you help her do this to me?”

“She loves you. She just wants you to talk to her, but you do everything you can to avoid her. It’s hurting her. Give her a chance, Baby Girl. I think this could be the best thing that has ever happened to you. You two are made for each other.”

He laughed at the incredulous look Olivia gave him.

“I’m serious Baby Girl. You know I would never hurt you. I got your back. You know that. But sometimes that includes not telling you everything. Go talk to her, she still lives in the same place.”

~~~~~~~~

Alex had remained seated in front of her laptop for over an hour waiting for Liv to log back online.She had to be honest with herself, Liv wasn’t coming back. She had deceived her, regardless of her intentions, regardless of her feelings this new closeness had it’s basis in deception. The best she could hope for is that Liv didn’t hate her and one day might forgive her. She laid down on her couch and gave into the tears she had held back.

~~~~~~~~~

Alex’s doorman remembered her, he was an elderly man who looked out for Alex like a grandfather. Probably the reason why she always comes back to this building, Liv mused.

“Are you alright detective, you look upset?”

“I’m fine Ernie, I just need to speak with Alex.”

“Of course, go straight up, she is in one of the penthouses now, fifteenth floor.”

“Thanks, see you later.”

Olivia spent the too short ride second guessing her current course of action. She had no idea how long she stood in front of Alex’s door before knocking.

They stood, just looking at each other. Alex broke first. “I’m so sorry Liv. I didn’t mean to hurt you or lie to you. I just wanted to…”

“Stop Alex.” She watched pain flare in Alex’s eyes. “I mean it’s ok, I understand.” Alex just watched her, waiting to see what the outcome would be. “I’m not pleased with you pretending to be someone else, but there’s this part of me, that has always wanted you, that is so flattered that you would go to all this effort to speak to me. Because you want me.”

“I’ve always wanted you Liv. I just, I didn’t know how to tell you, and the more time passed, the more mistakes I made and the further I pushed you away. I just want to be with you, Liv. Spend time with you, love you.”

“Okay.”

Alex cocked her head to one side, “Okay what?”

“Okay to spending time together, we can see where that takes us. Though, maybe you can dial back on the creepy stalker stuff.”

The smile that appeared on Alex’s face almost mesmerized Liv, and she found herself mirroring Alex’s smile.

“Do you want to come in? We could start the whole spending time together part now,” Alex asked, hesitantly.

“Yeah, I think I’d like that.”


End file.
